Chapter 94: Those under the age of eighteen can’t listen to this story.

Asking the master to read from an excerpts of a fanfiction starring themselves was simply just sending the master and their fan fiction writer wife to the execution ground for public execution. Plea se re ad at Yu ri Trans lations

The <Three Days and Three Nights> program group really knew how to play and understand the hearts of CP fans, though this did not include the wife who would be executed.

This could also be said to be very bold, even though the guest was their boss, they could still make these task cards at the risk of drinking the northwest wind¹.

T/N

1. 喝西北风: go cold and hungry

Was it because they had General Assistant Han’s support, so they could become bolder?

They were not afraid to provoke Tang Han Qiu, because they could write out General Assistant Han, was that it?

Yu Ru Bing subconsciously turned her face to look at Tang Han Qiu, only to see that the other party rubbing their eyebrows in headache, as if she was deeply upset about something.

Tang Han Qiu regretted that she didn’t force the project team to give her all the specific task course after the previous segment, and regretted that this matter was all handed over to Han Wei.

She wanted to ask Han Wei, if before giving the nod of her head in approving these tasks, did she take into account the shame that her boss would experience?

Yu Ru Bing scratched her face, and asked, “Qiu Qiu knows about fanfictions?”

It stood to reason that people who were busy with their careers like Tang Han Qiu, would rarely surf the Internet and should not be involved in such a deep CP culture.

But looking at Tang Han Qiu’s appearance, she obviously understood.

Tang Han Qiu nodded: “I’ve seen a bit.”

In the part of <New Star Idol> where they were calling their parents, she chose to call Yu Ru Bing² as her boss, so that she would not become embarrassed in that pleasant and sweet segment.

T/N

2. Chapter 59

After that episode was broadcasted, CP fans from all over shipped them so hard that they were knocked to the top, and fan works about them flew everywhere. Because of this, she had seen a bit of what a fandom was, in between the lines that they said to each other it was filled with sweet love that she and Yu Ru Bing did not have, even the punctuation marks were forcibly broken as the two of them being affectionate by the CP fans.

She also sighed towards the writing ability of these CP fans.

— President Tang actually saw it!

— Which sister entered the eyes of President Tang, there’s smoke coming from their ancestral tomb³!

T/N

3. 祖坟冒青烟: refers to having done a great deed or becoming a high official

— Gosh, hearing this make me so embarrassed

— President Tang: This director, stop it.

Yu Ru Bing meaningfully said oh, and judging from her reaction, she could guess that she must have never seen those that adults look at.

Otherwise, she would have fired the director on the spot.

After all, that could make the show rated-18 in an instant.

Yu Ru Bing patted her hand with a smile, and comforted: “Think about the ratings, think about the ratings.”

The program group of <Three Days and Three Nights> really knew how to stir people up, picking out something that the audience loved to see as well was pissing off their own boss.

After this show is broadcasted, and if the ratings were not high, Yu Ru Bing had no doubt that Tang Han Qiu would make the staff of this program group bleed when they return to Hua Yao— especially the director.

The current bearer of this storm.

She would be reluctant to fire General Assistant Han, so she could only fire this director to vent out her feelings.

Tang Han Qiu glanced at her, and Yu Ru Bing firmly held her hand: “It’s true, this is what the audience loves to see, trust me.”

The master reading a CP fan work about themselves, it’s exciting to think about.

Tang Han Qiu said blankly: “Then the audience would like to see quite a lot?”

Yu Ru Bing complimented solemnly: “Isn’t that’s because of our program’s President Tang, every segment is eye-catching and so fascinating, so which of the audience would not like to see that?”

Tang Han Qiu chuckled, “Then that’s excellent.” And she glanced at the director.

Otherwise, some people can just wash their necks clean and wait for death.

She was on the show for the purpose of draining traffic to her own show, not to be picked on by her own employees!

The director was terrified, but in order to do his job, he could only bite the bullet: “President Tang, please look, can you read it?” Plea se re ad at Yu ri Trans lations

Yu Ru Bing understood the hearts of CP fans, for the ratings and to keep the director’s head, she neatly made a decision for Tang Han Qiu: “Read, I’ll read it.”

Then she turned her head and smiled brightly at Tang Han Qiu: “Our President Tang can just sit and listen.”

— Yu Bu Ru Bing: Leave the shameful things to me! Wife, you only need to be responsible for looking beautiful!

— Hahahahaha hurry up! Let me see which wife will be publicly executed!

— [Rubbing hands. jpg] Is this rated-18, if so, then I’m starting to get excited!

— I think it might not be? After all, it is still on air, and the director certainly wouldn’t dare to make it R18, otherwise he would not see how beautiful the sun is tomorrow.

The director gratefully personally handed Yu Ru Bing the excerpts written by a fan and told her: “Just read it accordingly.”

Yu Ru Bing responded with an okay, but before starting to read, she looked at Tang Han Qiu, and suddenly took out a candy for her: “I don’t know what I will read later, but I think that not drinking water is right, so eat a candy to calm down okay?”

Tang Han Qiu took the candy, then looked back at her, puzzled: “Why are you so calm?”

Yu Ru Bing showed a proud look: “That’s not it, I’m just a frequent surfer, so I’ve already seen many fanfictions before.”

It’s nothing short of being completely experienced, without being terrified.

— ? I just wrote a fanfiction article in super topics⁴ a few days ago… I’m scared

T/N

4. 超话: a function in Weibo, similar to Twitter, hashtags make it possible for Weibo users to tag a topic they are addressing in their post so that their content pops up whenever other people search for that hashtag. A Super Topic goes beyond the hashtag. It basically is a community account where all sort of information is shared and organized. Visit here to know more

— Today, fans of idol sj⁵ felt a thrill

T/N

5. I think this is Super Junior, but I’m not sure

— ??? You are so busy, where did you get the time to go online! Can you stay away from our fan lives! (Hold my fellow fanfiction writer tightly)

Yu Ru Bing swallowed a bit of her saliva to moisturize her throat, and then said politely: “Then I will read it?”

Tang Han Qiu waved her hand wearily and let her go.

Yu Ru Bing coughed twice, her face suddenly solemn, then she put on a posture of being serious, and slowly opened her mouth: “The graceful and slender figure of the woman was trapped inside the rectangular screen, the soft and ambiguous light shone down making her face even more gorgeous against the background, it was what people called amazing.”

“A delicate rose, wearing a snow-white shirt, and with her slender fingers, she was the embodiment of beauty and desire/hope, the goddess that all living things adored and followed.”

This instantly reminded people of Yu Ru Bing’s performance of “Red Rose” on stage.

Tang Han Qiu couldn’t help but look over, Yu Ru Bing paused, raised her hand and shyly said: “Boasting me up, I’m embarrassed…”

Tang Han Qiu raised her eyebrows in surprise: “So you do know?”

Did you ever think about my feelings when you boasted me?

You did not.

Yu Ru Bing said shamelessly: “What boastful words did I say regarding you? That’s called sincerely stating the truth, thank you.”

She raised the fanfiction in her hand, approached Tang Han Qiu, who had a loathing look on her face, pointed to one of the sentences and said: “Also, this sentence ‘the embodiment of beauty and desire/hope, the goddess that all living things adored and followed’, I think this is right for you.”

The most beautiful in the world was obviously her Qiu Qiu!

Tang Han Qiu frowned and pushed the fanfiction away: “No, you can keep that, don’t be polite to your fans.”

— Hahahahaha What kind of triangular dog licking scene is this!

— The fans are responsible for boasting, while being embarrassed in the master’s responsibility!

— President Tang: My ears don’t want to hear these things (Don’t touch Lao-zi.JPG)

T/N

— Offering borrowed fart to Buddha⁶

T/N

6.借屁献佛: the original idiom is 借花献佛 meaning to win favor or influence using sb else’s property, but author changed 花 (flower) to 屁 (fart, can also mean nonsense), which has the same pronunciation

— Hahahaha person above are you trying to make me laugh to death with that offering borrowed fart to Buddha?

Yu Ru Bing continued to read: “Tang Han Qiu lowered her exquisite eyebrows and looked at the woman on the screen without blinking, her eyes were as fierce as fire, burning only for this woman.”

“She softly called with infatuation: ‘Bing…’”

Yu Ru Bing herself gave a wow— she also hoped that Tang Han Qiu would really treat her like this.

Tang Han Qiu turned her face away, feeling like she’d lose her ears just by listening.

The staff of the program group were all smiling very brilliantly, showing the expression of watching a good play.

Yu Ru Bing: “Suddenly, a pair of snow-white fair tender arms gently embraced Tang Han Qiu from behind, then took away the tablet computer on her lap, and with a smile blew in her white as jade ears: ‘My President Tang, aren’t I right here, why are you watching a video? Is it not as good to see the real person?’”

“Tang Han Qiu smiled softly, her tone was extremely gentle: ‘Want to see the real person, want to also watch the video, as long as it’s you, I want to see everything.’”

“Yu Ru Bing who was behind her suddenly let out a chuckle, her warm breath spraying over her earlobes, making it kind of itchy. A fragrant scent swept across the tip of her nose, and in the next second, there was another person on her lap.”

Tang Han Qiu was extremely embarrassed, and at this moment, wished that she was deaf.

But Yu Ru Bing was indifferent, she would even comment with a few words from time to time, as if she was just reading a fanfiction starring other people, which was a stark contrast with the thin-skinned President Tang.

— Hahahahaha reading is Yu Ru Bing’s business, being embarrassed is President Tang’s business?? ?

— Yu Ru Bing is not included in the public execution, is she?

— Hahahahahaha I’m laughing to death, the wife who wrote this article said that she was depressed and said that she and the program group cannot live in the same sky

“She saw Yu Ru Bing only wearing a loose shirt, her black hair still covered with a few misty drops of water, and her eyes were in a haze.”

“Tang Han Qiu asked: ‘Have you finished bathing?’ She nodded.”

“She then saw her slowly raise her hand, hook them around Tang Han Qiu’s neck, and slowly approached, then with a low and hoarse voice, coupled with a sense of longing and desire/hope, she said: ‘I missed you so much, missed your eyes, missed your lips, missed what you brought me—”

Yu Ru Bing’s voice abruptly stopped there, then she silently read the remaining text, and not long after, she said that she missed the happiness Tang Han Qiu brought to her, then with an evil smile Tang Han Qiu said, “Then I’ll let you experience the aftertaste again.” And that’s it there wasn’t anymore.

Yu Ru Bing: “…”

As an experienced driver, how could she not guess what the next portion would be!

Really those under the age of eighteen can’t listen to this story.

— President Tang is so embarrassed that her scalp has gone numb hahaha

— Read it for me! I have a hunch that the next part is something I want to hear!!!

— The hitlag⁷ is not kind!!!

T/N

7.卡肉: also known as hitstun or freeze frames is a phenomenon that appears in whereby a character will freeze for a period of time after connecting with an attack.

— Hahahahahahahahahaha you demons, let go of this wife, protect the wife that’s being stewed, this is everyone’s responsibility!

Suddenly, she slapped the fanfiction excerpts in her hand on the table, and said to Tang Han Qiu with a serious face: “This segment must be retained.”

Tang Han Qiu: “?”

Yu Ru Bing: “It’s better to be happy together than to be happy alone, I want to let the guests after us to also feel this, we can’t die alone, no, we can’t be happy alone!”

Tang Han Qiu: “…”

You really are sinister…

And then saw her with a heavy expression: “I’m sad.”

Tang Han Qiu: “What?”

Yu Ru Bing hammered the palm of her hand and said regretfully: “I haven’t gone to your house to take a shower, but I have already been there in these fanfictions!”

“It’s a pity, so when I have time, I’ll go to your house to leech on your bathroom.”

Tang Han Qiu: “…”

Isn’t your emphasis too over the line??? Plea se re ad at Yu ri Trans lations

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The author has something to say:

Double update

Fanfiction wife trembled as she announced that she cannot live in the same sky as the program group, and she has since retired from that arena!

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